i know i should be happy with what i have...but i just had a startling revelation...i will never ever get to see the beauty of summertime in Europe while living under my parents' roof...why?? because of obstacles and things i have to do....sad =(

theory exam tomorrow...really really hope i can pass it...it's so difficult....i keep thinking...i paid a ton of money to pass this exam..so i have to do well..

and to everyone i apparently insulted by not liking Harry Potter....a girl's allowed to have her opinion on things....i don't like it...but im not stopping u guys from liking it...so let's just give it a rest ok....maybe just maybe im an anti-establishment type of person...but i won't change

i don't know how to say it...but i feel like im sinking into depression....life has been hard...watching other people get what they want all the time...and having it rubbed into your face...while the things that i want are just beyond my reach...so near yet so far...coz it belongs to someone else....ive never felt this way before

how can i say this?? she makes me sick..the b****h...it's always about her her her...the same person ive been talking about for so long...she has everything yet she just keeps taking and taking till there is nothing left for me...my dear...to really be a person..u don't behave this way...u don't have to mix around and spew fake giggles.....u don't have to be little miss popular...u don't have to get everything...u don't have to be unhappy about other ppl's achievements...u don't have to rub it in when u r better than others....and the thing im so pissed off about...is that im the only one who can see the real you...everyone else likes you so damn much...coz maybe you're the master at manipulation...not me

i know im not perfect...but im not a two faced b****h....so hopefully i will never see you on the other side...

nice song...but they kinda sound like Aly and AJ...anyway who cares..coz i don't

WTF!!! Zaidah is 4 A's moral teacher!!!!! we are doomed...yes doomed!!!!

from this day onwards...i will never be free from her incessant droning...her awful off key singing...her ugly fat bottom....what a horrible horrible teacher!~!!!

This season of American Idol is so damn rascist!!!! Everyone who went out this week is non-white and that is 200 % unfair....i thought ppl like Didi Benami and that Tim whatshisname did terribly this week but they are still in most definitely coz of the colour of their skin...how can this be??? unfair unfair unfair!!!

sigh...my sister and I's favourite Korean is out...how disappointing...i thought he did ok this week...just coz of the racism thing so no one voted for him....how interesting if a Korean won American Idol...that would be a thing to see

there is nothing more to pull me to AI now....no likable freaks like Adam Lambert...no horrible ppl like Megan Corkrey and Sanjaya Malakar to pull me to the show to see whether they get kicked out...and Simon is leaving next year...maybe ill watch the X Factor US next year....American Idol is so last season...who asked them to invite unworthy judges like Ellen Degeneres who doesn't know crap about singing to be a judge..seriously

new timetable...new teachers....i hate hate hate hate it...

everyone is looking forward to the march holidays...but not me...coz doomsday is coming up...the theory exam..while my father is happily holidaying in Germany and UK...im busy swotting to pass my exam...i must pass this year...or i could not bear the shame

i hate ppl telling me that im smart..that i don't have anything to worry about during exams..that's not true...not one bit...i am terrified of exams...and my good results are not because of smartness...its due to lots and lots of hard work

everyone says i have nothing to fear...i can't even complain to anyone that im scared of any exam...coz they will just say u are so smart...why are u so worried?? if u get awful marks...we will get worse..nobody understands at all...i can't tell anybody anything at all about my woes about exams

and because of this..i am always under pressure to live up to everyone's expectations..including my insulting family on my dad's side who's tongues will wag if i fail...always stressing myself out over nothing..why am i so stupid..and what did i ever do wrong to be born the stupid and slow one in a crazy smart family on both sides???

well...this time round..im proving all of u wrong...i am getting worse marks than everyone else..a horrible average...and i will not cry...i will not show my sadness...don't you dare gloat at me now...coz a tiny bit of my pain is caused by your influence