I need redemption...

I don't know how I'm going to pull myself out of this rut my life seems to have become. I feel like I did work hard but nothing went the way it was supposed to go..Oct 17 was just a really really bad day where everything went wrong. I have to make up for it and I don't know whether I can do it, I stress and stress about this every semester, isn't university supposed to be fun...no I just keep counting and counting, what mark do I need to get to get this grade and maintain that stellar GPA that everyone seems to get effortlessly and yet I can't seem to do it even though I work hard and worry worry worry the entire semester and I don't know why

And the feeling of not being happy all the time, I don't know why I'm not happy...I don't have meaningful connections with anyone, no close group of friends here like what I used to have , and all this just makes me sad every time I see them here or the people back home and what they have. I have lots of friends yes but no one I would tell my secrets too, no one to share troubles with and the person whom I thought was my meaningful connection is suddenly too wrapped up in her own life to care or even listen when I try to talk to her...what happened to we live so close, we should see each other often, no such thing, I invite and invite her to everything that's happening and she turns me down every single time...I haven't seen her in 3 weeks and only one street separates us, she doesn't even take the initiative to contact me to go out for a meal or anything, so I don't see why I should keep doing all the work

I really need redemption, too much bottling up of feelings can kill you but who to turn to, who to tell, who will understand...this is not depression, I know it's not because I can still function, I'm not suicidal but I'm just not happy and I haven't been in a long time...

I need to be stronger, my troubles are so petty, so many people out there suffer so much more but they can still be happy

In this big big world called life, probably you and only you can save yourself, ultimately you and only you will care about yourself

everything is so idealistic until you experience it and bam everything hurts and you're kind of by yourself to pick up the pieces








I guess I feel slightly better now

Don't Look At Me Like That

can I just drown in your eyes .......//keyboard smashes//  Effy Stonem and Stiles ....SOBSSSSSSSSSS..just like my OT6...I've never looked back

this song would fit Asylum so well too

When the lights start to turn off, I quietly go to meet you
A flower blooms in the world that’s only filled with thorns
Why? Why not?
They whisper and go against us
Why? Why not?
We’re so in love

Don’t look at me like that
We’re just in love, that’s all
Don’t hate on us, however you’re viewing us
We’re just a little different
Just leave us alone

Can’t we live in a world where time stands still?
Why? Why not?
We did nothing wrong
Why? Why not?
We’re so in love

Shadow.....

Even when you are the flames, I'll still jump in because until always you're my last

OMG THIS LINE...THIS FREAKING LINE...I'm just crying right now...the power of this line..it's beautiful!!!!

I love this song, love the dark everything and it has to have a beautiful line as well...this totally describes D and Y's relationship in Asylum....Asylum is an awesome story //sobs// the loaded with money weapons specialist and the pyromaniac boy...this is their freaking song

I'm so proud of my bb's :')

on another note

I can't stop listening to Red's Already Over ....this alternative rock band is unique in the sense that all their songs fit right in with a movie soundtrack...take a listen...It's in English so don't worry xP

FIRST POST OF 2013 HAHA

hi this is the first post of 2013 LOL

nothing much going on with me right now...just lazing at home like a slob waiting for my results to come out...I'm so so nervous..it's crazy...because this will decide whether I'm going to Canada or not :(

anyway I have nothing to say....just going to hide in a corner of my room in Canada and cry when they go to Malaysia...because it is confirmed that they are coming while I'm studying abroad..but yet Canada is my other dream for a long time so I wouldn't give it up either.....tells myself to stop being stupid and think long term

I have the shittiest luck I swear...is it evil of me to hope that the event gets cancelled here for some reason OTL....oh god my Thomas/Joseph/Fairy/Bright Fire T_____T

Cube I'll never forgive you for not holding this in Malaysia last year...I hate you

going to head to Eastern Europe in 2 weeks....bye to whoever that is actually going to read this LOL..coz I'm sure no one missed me

HYPERVENTILATING

HOMAIGOD MY LITTLE HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS...I NEED TO VENT IT OUT SOMEWHERE WHERE I WON'T ANNOY ANYONE

NOVEMBER 26 IS SO FAR AWAY!!! AAAAAHHHHH
IT'S FINALLY TIME FOR BABY THOMAS TO SHINE T____T
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE ...I'VE HOPED FOR THIS FOR SO LONG AND NOW IT'S COMING TRUE I DON'T BELIEVE IT...ALL THE FEELS...BREATHE JUST BREATHE

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED FOR ANY RELEASE BEFORE THAT I'M ONLY CAPSMASHING LIKE CRAZY AND WHY IS 6 DAYS SUCH A LONG TIME


okay calms down..this is funny...i haven't posted in almost a year and my first post this year is to scream the place down about baby thomas ...okay rofl

so how have i been? i don't know..grew older...and became crazier i guess thanks to my troll family..and my number one troll god fiona xP
byeeeeee

REVAMPING BLOG...I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW :)

I AM BACK!!!!!! RIGHT XD