THIS POST HAS A LOT OF WORDS...IM SORRY...JUST NEED TO LET OFF STEAM...IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ...IT'S FINE

first things first....im worried....very worried....things don't seem fine nowadays....it's not like last time anymore....distance is slowly killing us....and i can't do anything about it...i feel like i don't fit in anywhere now


what else???

as i expected...i didn't get to go to the autograph session.....but it's still so damn disappointing..im so jealous...coz everyone who went managed to get their autograph...and some even managed to shake hands with them

im going crazy...i feel emotionally drained....it's like i tried so hard just to meet with failure...i racked my brains for two whole weeks thinking of how to enter the contest without having to inconvenience my parents..and i ended up inconveniencing my friends for nothing...JUE THENG AND HUI LIN...im so sorry again...do you know how depressing it feels??? i keep thinking about the wasted chance all the time

yes...i do like them.....but it's not just about them...it's the fact that i have wanted to go to a concert like since FOREVER..and now i have the chance...i actually won...it's free!!!!!...but i still don't get to go...due to overly strict parents who are unwilling to fetch me anywhere at night coz it's just TOO DANGEROUS...

and im not like most people....i don't have a favourite artist that im crazy about...i listen to the song...oh it's nice and i like it...but im not crazy about the artist....so even if they did hold a concert...i might not go..coz i only like a few songs from them...and it's not worth paying the expensive ticket price to hear a few songs

but this time it's different....these people are like my current craze...it comes and goes...when im suddenly obsessed over some celeb..i know everything about them...till i move on to the next obsession....so i know all their songs as of now....and it's FREE!!!!...I just don't know how to describe it..you might think im crazy...but that's just it....i keep feeling and thinking 'IT'S WASTED...THEY MIGHT NEVER COME AGAIN'..and i feel sad all over again

i sat at home today and yesterday and kept replaying 'IT'S HAPPENING NOW BUT IM NOT THERE' in my head...it's so torturous...and i can't share my feelings with anyone in my family...my sister is totally unsympathetic...coz she's not happy that i got free concert tickets and im not sharing with her...in the first place..she doesn't even like them that much...so why waste iT?? might as well give it to my cousin who introduced them to me..my parents are like' WHAT ARE YOUR PRIORITIES AS A STUDENT?? STUDYING,NOT GOING TO CONCERTS AT NIGHT AND JOINING A SCREAMING FANCROWD..PLUS THERE WOULD BE NO PARKING AND WE HAVE TO WAIT THERE THE WHOLE DAY FOR YOU'

so..end of story...please leave a kind word and console me if even if you think im ridiculous =(

this is nothing...just too much accumulated disappointment in one go...and i can't tell anyone....do you know how hard it is to keep feelings in for two whole weeks??

tomorrow is a new day....a new beginning...ill put everything behind me and go back to normal...i'll try to forget it.not easy to do...but I HAVE TO....i have to learn to deal with disappointment...coz it won't be the last time..and it won't be the last time that i will miss out on something i really want to do because of my parents....sigh...

GET OVER IT!!!